say motorcycle one more time, erin, say motorcycle one more time. so sayeth peter last night in his sleep.

I’ve got a triple shot Americano coursing through my veins hardcore caffeine style. I met my BFF for coffee at lemonjello’s and until I confessed what it was she was under the assumption I was drinking cider.

I realized this morning I am in a constant state of trying to find balance: balance at work, balance at home, balance socially. And when I start feeling like I’m losing control I have a tendency to tip the scales in the complete opposite direction I should. When I should be surrounding myself with positive relatively healthy (or at least struggling virtually the same way I am) people, I either cut myself off from everyone, seek out those that cut me down, or find someone who is so far from stable I dismiss my mental health problems as meaningless. And if I try and control every single aspect of my life I end up feeling empty and hollow and so regimented I lack joy. Intellectually I know what’s happening. Emotionally I always end up going from one extreme to another.

Thankfully? I have a BFF who somehow manages to be feeling the same way at the same time. And once we start talking about it, it all feels manageable.

I am blessed.

I’m also blessed because Bob Dylan is going to be in Kalamazoo 4 days after Obama becomes our next president and 3 days before I turn another year older.

Woot.Woot.