it's 65 degrees here. in november. that just ain't right.

I have curtains. On 2 windows. It’s a start.

I also finally rearranged my kitchen so my pots are hanging on the wall and my spices are no longer directly above the stove. The top of the refrigerator has been cleaned off and the desk as been taken back from the months of old mail and the 50,000 vitamins I take every day. My current to-do-this-week list includes hanging up the rest of the pictures, decorating for Christmas, and scrubbing the kitchen floor on my hands and knees like my momma done taught me.

Thanksgiving. So. I’m making a turkey. It’s my first and though I should be freaking out I’m oddly calm. If it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out. I pick my baby up tomorrow and once I know how heavy it is I’ll have a better idea how I’m going to cook it. Right now the plan is herbs and butter under the skin, herbs and butter inside, and salt and pepper all over it. I’m pretty sure I’m going with high heat/short time as I think the breast of this bad boy is going to be smaller and I don’t want it to dry out. I’m also making roasted vegetables and as the turkey is being cooked at Nancy’s house and the vegetables are going to be cooked at our house I haven’t quite worked out the logistics of me being in two places at once. A clone would be nice.

I’ve decided to get a tree. Peter isn’t interested in the mess of it, but I think it’s worth it even if we’re not here for actual Christmas. Christmas isn’t about the day. It’s about the season! I love the smell. I love the ornaments. I love the lights at night! It makes me happy and damn it, I deserve to be happy.

In other news, handmade Christmas is being modified to ensure no one loses their mind (that’s me) or continues to be in agonizing pain due to carpel tunnel (that would be my sister). Only in the Davison household would someone end up with a hand made Christmas injury! I’m still really happy with the way things are looking, but mostly I’m starting to get ridiculously crazy excited about Christmas in Vermont. I only wish everyone had the chance to experience a Davison Family Christmas. Christmas Eve church service! The apple sausage pie on Christmas day! The cinnamon rolls! The Annual Davison Family Christmas Party where there is much eating, drinking and laughing!

I cannot wait.

it hasn't even really snowed yet

It’s just so November around here. I can feel it deep in my bones and down in my brain. Despite it being my birthmonth, I’m finding this November to be a bitch. I’d like to smack her around a little, but every time I raise my hand she strikes me first. At work. At home. Everywhere I go it seems November just wants me to lose.

I am really looking forward to December.

In the meantime, I’m trying everything I know to yank myself out of this seemingly endless cycle of feeling like I cannot win. I’m running consistently. I’m eating better. I’m trying to be a better sleeper. I’m slowing down. I’m making lists. I’m crossing things off. I’m taking my vitamins. I can’t seem to shake this feeling that I’m a complete and utter failure at just about everything I do and I’m trying to change what is obviously my completely skewed perception of reality.

Yes. I’m going to call my therapist if this continues past Thanksgiving.

But enough moping and whining! There have been a few bright spots. I took the train to Chicago where I went to SOFA and saw some amazing art and got inspired to create work. I ate sweetbreads for the first time (Good, not great, but I’d try them again), and had the best pecan roll I have ever had in my life. No. Really. It was a “Oh my LORD so THIS is what the dough is supposed to taste and feel like!” moment. I spent time with my college friend Michael Miller who, thanks to facebook, I have reconnected with and I will now be forever in facebook’s debt for bringing us back together. I read a new translation of Madame Bovary and remembered how much I like French things. I had an amazing birthday filled with a new Marushka, the discovery of Wendell Berry, a rib-eye from Salt of the Earth and some birthday shots with good friends at The Sandbar. I’m very proud of one particular hand made Christmas present that is thiiis close to being done. I’m excited to make my very first turkey next Thursday. The apartment is getting a good fall cleaning which makes me beyond happy. Christmas in Vermont is not far away.

I know I am lucky. I know I am blessed. I know this November will soon be over and I need to focus on those moments where things do come together and life is good and I am reminded the single most important thing is the interactions I am fortunate enough to have with the people in my life.

But November?

Watch your back.