recipe for the best day off

Clean out your closet: Remove every single wire hanger you have acquired over the last 3 months from the laundromat and replace with empty plastic hangers. This will take a while as wire hangers that have dropped to the floor and gotten tangled up with other wire hangers that have dropped to the floor are more difficult to untangle than untangling angora yarn.

Make coffee: Good coffee. Strong coffee.

Sudoku: Start with an easy one. It will make you feel smart.

Take a shower: And listen to Erin and Peter's Psychedelic 2009 mix.

Try on every single piece of clothing in your now de-wirehangered closet: If it doesn't fit put it in a bag. If you haven't worn it in a year put it in a bag. If it doesn't fit, but you remember how awesome it was when it did fit and you think it's possible it might fit in 6 months keep it. You are only allowed to keep 6 items in this category so choose carefully. Weep a little at how much doesn't fit anymore. Resolve to fit into it again.

Make 1st meal of the day: Forget everything that just happened with the weeping and make yourself a ham and brie cheese panini with honey mustard and a side salad with homemade balsamic. Have a small glass of red wine. Don't look at the time. Just have the glass of wine.

Take a knitting break: Turn on the Gilmore Girls and knit. Think about the bullshit that is Rory Gilmore. Anna Karenina in the tenth grade? Proust in the 9th grade?!?! She has dead eyes and you hate her. Text Peter a long rambling (and what you believe to be insightful) text about Rory Gilmore and how much you hate her. Watch another episode and keep knitting.

Bake banana bread: Turn on some NPR. Mix everything by hand. Your arms will hurt. Remember how strong you were when you lifted weights. Vow to start lifting weights again. Everytime you come across a small lump of flour think about the step you skipped regarding sifting the flour. Vow to sift the flour next time. Consider adding chocolate chips for Peter. Remember the weeping. Don't add the chocolate chips.

Clean out the downstairs closet: Consider having to move a bunch of stuff you threw into the closet when you moved last time and never used. Make a big pile for Goodwill. Take back the tent. Take back the lantern. Take back the hiking backpack. Take back the 2 boxes of journals, pictures, and memories you've lugged from apartment to apartment. Think about asking Metafilter or Facebook how long people hold onto the past. Open a journal from your freshman year of highschool. Read one entry and throw it back into a box. Put off going through any of the personal shit until Sunday. This project will take awhile.

Take a break: Sit at the kitchen table in the afternoon sun. Listen to that Press Delete song you love on repeat. Pick up a pen and start writing about how much you've loved this apartment. Remember the first time you used the secret door to get upstairs. Remember listening to Alan Ginsburg read "America" while laying on the couch at an ungodly hour. Remember Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Total Destruction! Remember the patio of truth. Remember the games of idiot, the delicious meals, the deer out back, the flying squirrel, the pilgrim fireworks. Remember reading Infinite Jest. Remember this is where you realized the person you are with was the person you want to be with for a long time. Weep a little. Blame the song. Then realize despite yourself you are indeed a sentimental sap.

Knit: Watch some more Gilmore Girls. Consider calling Rebecca, but realize it's only 5pm in Chicago and she's probably not free. Hate on Rory. Finish a knitting project.

Make meal #2: Thinking that tupperware container on the bottom shelf is full of sauce decide to make homemade gnocchi. The sauce was good. It needs to be eaten. Gnocchi is good. You have time. Use your potato ricer for the first time. As the riced potato sits and cools take out the container and realize it's not sauce, but just tomato puree. Consider forgetting the whole thing. Look at the beautiful pile of riced potatoes. Start making sauce. Use whatever you have. Think about how good clinging sauces are with gnocchi. Pour yourself another glass of wine. Put on Animal Collective. Enjoy every single moment of the process.

Eat supper: Don't read. Don't sudoku. Turn your phone off. Put on the Peter and Erin mix. Savor every bite. Be amazed with yourself. You rule.

Clean up: Don't let things soak. Do the dishes. You hate waking up the morning to dishes. Just do them. You'll feel better.

Watch Strictly Global: Realize you are not a fan of Latvian jazz-inspired Europop. Remember 2 weeks ago when you turned it on and the new Yeasayer single was on. Swear you'll shut off the tv if the next video isn't Yeasayer. Watch 3 more videos. Turn off the tv.

Go to bed: It's only 9:30 and you haven't heard from Rebecca. Consider calling her then, but realize you'll probably get all giddy and excited and girly which is not conducive you to falling asleep. Feel regret you didn't talk to Rebecca. Settle in with All The Pretty Horses. Be in awe of Cormac McCarthy's ability to write some of the best prose ever. Fall asleep with your light on.